I have never really been one for writing blog posts. In all seriousness I’m quite sceptical of them. I mean, day on day I search through hash tags seeing I don’t know relationships plastered all over the internet, in all seriousness like a fantasy or something from a Disney film. I personally think my scepticism stems from the MySpace era of 2008, or rather more embarasingly for me my music MySpace career in which I wrote and performed songs about a boy I liked who never really liked me as much as he copped on he did.
Five years down the line and an absence of 4 odd years, we have now been together fourteen months and I haven’t been happier.
Note: I have now deleted my music MySpace as it got to a stage in our relationships where he would start singing the songs I wrote. Boys aren’t as thick as you think and by God do they take hints.
This is probably long and from the point, however I think writing posts is going to become something I do, just to alleviate my mind if all the muck spinning round it.
Since September , I have had a shitty enough time. A close bereavement in my family in which traumatised me for some time played with my head a bit. Luckily I had the support of my wonderful family, boyfriend and a couple of close friends.
COUPLE being the operative word.
Many will know I decided to live at home and commute to university, which has meant that the majority of “friends” have left the town I live. I told people who I thought were my friends and people I trusted about the tragedies within my family. Yet, only 3/4 of them were actually there and bothered to send a text or a call saying they were thinking if myself and my family.
Its not that I want peoples pity or sympathy, its just I feel that I see myself as someone who would bend over backwards for their friends, no matter what. But in return not many would do the same for me. Similarly, my birthday just gone, it was the same 3/4 people who can out for my birthday/came round for a drink to my house for my birthday even though they couldn’t go out to town.
The friends who had let me down all had plans, they were back home for the weekend but not one of them even came round for tea.
From that point, I’ve switched big time. I’m far less of a pushover and in all sincerity I have regrets about that. On the whole I feel so much happier in myself that I don’t feel let down by the same people anymore.
I do miss my best friends who are away from home though. Austin lives in Bristol and Sydney is training to be a midwife so her life is quite sporadic. The simple fact is I can go months without these two and tihgs will always be the same; I am there for them and they are there for me.
That’s not to deny the people at home who have been good to me; Beck for always being there, Alice, Kelly, Holly, Deace and Patch who came out for my birthday and made me laugh at my lowest.
People often ask me how university is treating me, and I think I surprise them I often say
I’ve learnt a lot; in an academic sense yes, but more so I have learnt about people which I think is arguably more important
Although it took me seven years, despite constant remainders from my mam, I have learnt probably one of the harshest but best lessons ever.
Feel free to message if you so wish